You could re read my previous blog over and over again as that is life here in our household. Relentless same thing 7 days a week , no rest days for either hubby or me. Particularly bad day today, feel like walking on egg shells trying not to set off one of his outbursts born of pain and frustration. He is having one of those particularly bad days, "if they (medical profession) don't do something soon I wont be here for them to do anything" intimations of suicide, I listen to his angry words and wonder yet again if I could do more, feel like it is my fault, that we cant make anyone listen and most importantly act.
It was back in March over 4 months ago that he made the brave decision to let the medical profession operate on him again, to insert a Baclofen Pump. He has lost all faith that anyone can help him live again. His is not a life worth living at the moment, every breath = pain, every movement = pain. So here he sits in our living room watching TV (well looking through it lost in his own thoughts) sitting as still as humanly possible, waiting for the next painful spasm to nearly throw him from his chair. While I talk to my only companion this computer, trying to find answers to the unanswerable.
Why are people like Hubby left in the community in such pain when there are medical interventions that can and morally should be done urgently to stop them from going out of their minds.